5 questions to ask your kids…to help them set goals for 2017.

It’s our first Friday back at school, I have an hour with my class…with nothing on the schedule. This scene may be terrifying to some: A class of 11 year olds on the edge, staring expectantly at you. If you don’t give them something to do, they will tip over edge and the hour becomes chaos. The inevitable question comes: “What are we going to do for this period?” They would usually be writing a cycle test in this period, but, it’s the first week. So…it’s in my hands.

In an inspired moment (maybe not so much to other teachers?) I quickly respond. “Um... Today we’re going to write down our goals for this year!”

I was so excited! I came up with something constructive and fun for them to do! Well… they didn’t think so. The subsequent groans and sighs were evidence of that!

So what is it with setting goals?! Why is it such a drag?

I don’t have an answer for you. Maybe they’re so tired of doing it. Maybe they ‘know’ they won’t achieve them, so what’s the point? Maybe they’ve seen a pathetic model of goal setting and achievement from us?

So why do kids need to even set goals?

Do you know that even at 11, 12 years old kids question existence? “What’s the point of life; like, what am I here for?” Ultimately, setting goals gives us a sense of purpose and it teaches children to work towards their dreams and what they’re made to do!

Do you also know that kids often have no idea where to start with their goals? The first thing they write: “Get an A in … ”

An admirable goal, but really, there’s so much more we should be inspiring our children to achieve than a good mark in a particular subject.

So here are here are 5 areas that you can explore with your children to help them set some goals for this year.

1)   What do you want to achieve this year at school?

Alright, so their “I want to get an A” is a good starting point. Let’s get that out the way.

The question to ask is this: What do you want to achieve this year at school?

And you want to try to keep them away from super vague statements. So which subject do they want to improve in? What kinds of marks were they getting for those subjects? What kind of marks do they want to get? What schoolwork habits could be improved? Do they need to work on making sure their homework is always done? Do they need to use a different method to study for tests and exams? Do they need to go for extra lessons to get some help with a subject they struggle with?

You’ll probably find that there are loads of areas they can improve in. But help them pick one! Write it down. (You can assure them that, often, other areas will improve as they work on achieving the goal they’ve just written down.)

2)   How do you want to improve your friendships this year?

It always amazes me when I ask children how their holidays were when the new school term starts. Their reponse might sound something like this: “Urgh.. It was so boring. I couldn’t wait for school to start again!” (As a teacher, I totally don’t get it!) So what is it about school – do they love the work? Or the teachers? No.. it’s all about their friends!

So, it follows then, that they should have a look at how they can grow their friendships. Who are your kids friends? Would they like to make new friends? Is there someone in their class or school who needs a friend that they’d like to reach out to? What would help them grow their friendships that they already have? What would they like to do with their friends this year?

3)   How would you like to improve our family relationships?

Family is so important. These relationships are the first you have as a child. It’s where you learn everything about relating to others. Yes, no family is perfect, and some people have had an awful example of how to relate to others, and experienced truly toxic relationships within their families.

But family should be a place where you know you are always loved, even when there are conflicting views. It should be a place where you can be yourself and learn how to deal with differences. It should be a place where your gifts and talents are celebrated and where you can use them.

So what would your child like to improve about how they interact with the family? How are their friendships with their siblings? How would they like to spend time with Mom or Dad? What about their relationships with their grandparents?

It can be tempting to impose your goals or agenda on your child at this point. It would be lovely if they said that they’d like to make Mom breakfast in bed every morning! But if that’s not their goal, it’s not going to happen. I think one has to have a thick skin, both as a teacher, and as a parent. Sometimes your kids say things you don’t want to hear. But sometimes they’re the things we need to hear.

4)   What would you like to achieve in the things you have fun doing?

This could include the sport they do at school or their hobbies or anything they enjoy doing. Maybe they’d like to achieve something in their sport like an award for the best player. Maybe they’d like to improve their ability to paint or do pottery. Maybe they’d like to start a new sport or hobby.

Setting a goal for the things they have fun doing emphasizes the importance of doing things they enjoy. As a parent, you’ll know, between work and running the kids around, deadlines and housework, you probably don’t get to spend much time on your hobbies or interests. But you also know that when you spend time painting or scrapbooking, or building something new for the house, there’s something about it that almost feeds your soul. We’re designed to be creative and to enjoy our talents and gifts. Let’s teach our children how important that is and help them make it a priority in their lives. (And yes, I’m giving you permission to do the same! Make time for fun, otherwise you’ll never do it!)

5)   What characteristics would you like to have this year?

Finally, and actually more important than all the others, is this goal. In fact, this will affect how your child achieves their other goals.

What kind of character traits would they like to develop this year? Would they like to be more kind to people? Or more patient? Would they like to be more generous and share more with others? Would they like to be more helpful? What about if they’d like to be more confident? Or less anxious and worried?

Children have to learn that their character is more important than anything else. People will eventually forget how rich you were; they’ll forget that you owned a bunch of fancy things; they won’t remember that had a very important position in the business. The only thing that lasts is the reputation of your character. What will people remember you for? How did you touch their lives so deeply that the impact it made forever changed them? This is what we need to instill in our children.

Here’s what we did…

So have some fun! You can even do this as a family. Connect and find out what each other’s goals are. And then, see how you can all help each other reach them.

The teacher-y thing to do is to trace your hands on paper and write the goals in the fingers. Paste up all the hands in the office or in a passageway and you can check them out through the year. (In my cheesy teacher mind I think you could also stick up some stars and make a thing of “Reaching for the Stars”. I know… but kids love that stuff.) Now go and set some goals!

One Word, please...

Alright, it’s almost the end of January. Let’s have a little conversation. How are you doing on those New Year’s resolutions? I’m going to take a wild guess here and presume that lots of us have given up on at least one of

them…probably more. It’s so easy to start strong, but life happens and we get busy…we make excuses.

Perhaps the biggest problem behind our ability to follow through is more that our goals are unrealistic or we set too many. It’s not about aiming lower, it’s about aiming just beyond where you know you can hit. And every time you hit the mark, you can push a little further. I was inspired by a suggestion that I’m going to propose to you today!

Think about all you want to achieve this year. Is there ONE WORD that can sum it up?

Persevere. Productivity. Discernment. Patience. Hospitable. Connect. Explore. Family. Friends. Finish.

When you’ve discovered what this word is, let this be your “goal” for this year. This will become your root goal for the year. In all you do, you’ll work towards achieving this over-arching goal.

Let’s say your word for this year is “Connect”. When you go through your day, you are constantly thinking “How can I connect more effectively and deeply with the people I meet?” So when you’re heading into a meeting and you’re sitting next to a fellow employee before the meeting starts, instead of checking your phone, you set it aside and ask them how they’re doing? Or, when you get home from work, instead of flopping down in front of the TV, you go play outside with your kids. Instead of texting someone, you pick up the phone and give them a call.  

Having a one-word goal is so much easier to remember than 10 different goals. It also goes beyond just one area of your life. It covers all of who you are and all of what you do, from your individual character to your social interactions, from how you work to how you play.

So what is your goal for this year? Make a decision. Write it down. Do it!

The Kinesthetic Learner: I like to move it, move it!!

The Kinesthetic learner likes to move, to experience their world in a tactile and active way. Sitting staring at a textbook or sitting listening to the teacher speaking for 30 minutes will drive them crazy! They learn best when they are moving!

In the classroom, this learner is the one who fidgets, who gets up from his or her seat often, who wants to walk around or write on the board. The kinesthetic learner loves to DO things – build models, do experiments, draw or write, put things together, break things apart. They like to stand up and jump or run around. The activities they love in the classroom are those they can actively be involved with!

As a kinesthetic learner, you must remember that sometimes your movement distracts others, so find a seat where you can move and others can’t see you so much - the back of the class is always nice! Bring a tennis ball to roll under your foot (make sure you don’t kick it across the class though!) or a ball of prestick or modeling clay to play with while listening to the teacher. Remember that writing is a tactile activity too – so make notes in class, draw pictures about the topic, make mind maps as the teacher teaches.

Here are some activities the kinesthetic learner can do to help him or her study more effectively:

-       Teach yourself the work by writing on a whiteboard.

-       Use post-its or sticky tags – write the information on the tags and stick them on a mirror or wall, you can rearrange them into groups and stand at the wall reading them to yourself as you learn.

-       Make a timeline by hanging a string across your room and peg up keycards that contain important dates and information.

-       Walk around while you study.

-       Learn spelling or timetables while jumping on a trampoline or kicking or bouncing a ball.

-       Build models and do experiments at home to study.

-       Measure real life objects – length, mass, volume.

There are lots of things you can do, but always remember to be active while you do it!

The Auditory Learner: Always listening – sometimes more than you think!

The Auditory learner remembers and understands work best when he or she has heard it or spoken it. In the classroom, auditory learners like to talk, hum or make sounds (like clicking with their tongues) that stimulate their auditory senses. This sometimes looks like a lack of concentration, but you will be surprised at what they have actually taken in from what the teacher has been talking about.

Most teaching activities happen in a visual and auditory way, so learners for whom this is a strength, will benefit from good explanations, clear verbal instructions and any other audio-visual materials used to teach a topic. Activities in class that auditory learners enjoy include discussions, role plays or skits, speeches, debates and group work.

As an auditory learner, make sure that you stay on topic during group work and discussions – because talking is your thing, it’s really easy to chat about off topic things. Also, make sure that there are no annoying sounds that will hinder you from hearing properly or distract you from listening. Things like an annoying fan or someone drilling or banging down the hallway will distract you from using your senses in the best way!

Here are a few activities that auditory learners can use to help them study more effectively. Remember that they like to speak and listen.

-       Make up songs or rap a rhyme.

-       Read the work in your book or notes out loud.

-       Teach the work to yourself by speaking out loud.

-       Work with a study-buddy who is also an auditory learner and teach each other the work, or discuss questions and answers.

-       Study with music on in the backround.

-       As you do a Maths sum or problem, talk yourself through the steps of completing the sum.

-       Convert written info into auditory info by recording yourself teaching the work or recording your teacher in class. Then you can listen to the info later.

-       Watch videos with good audio explanations

Your child's learning style - The key to their success (2)

THE VISUAL LEARNER - What you see is what you...remember.

For the visual learner, seeing is everything. If you want to explain a route to somewhere, the visual learner either has to picture the area as you explain, visualizing as you go, or they prefer if you write down directions or draw a map. The visual learner processes information best if it is taught or explained in a visual way.

So, for the visual learner, school may be something in which they thrive.

Most of the teaching and work that is done in class is done in a visual way – writing words on the board, projecting slide shows or pictures or videos onto the board, completing worksheets, writing essays, the list goes on and on. In the classroom, these learners are generally the ones who enjoy working in quietness on their own. They struggle with auditory distractions such as other children talking or annoying sounds (eg: the child behind them humming, or drilling or banging from construction).

So when it comes to doing homework, studying, learning or memorizing new information, everything should be done as visually as possible.

Here are a few strategies you can use to help your child learn better in a visual way:

-  Mind maps – some children prefer pictures, some prefer words. Make a mind map of all of the important information in a new topic.

-  Flash cards – write/draw new information on flash cards – a different section on each card. Read them, arrange them into groups or topics, cover the information, read the heading and try to remember the information, cover the heading, read the info and try to remember the heading.

-  Write out spelling words or timestables multiple times, trying to remember more off by heart as you go.

-  Use a whiteboard or chalkboard with different colours for different sections.

-  Write out questions in the form of a test then answer the questions.

-  Write out questions and answers on cards and scramble them up, then try to match the correct answer to each question.

(So many ideas! Can you tell I’m a visual learner!?)

These are things you can use to help your child to learn new information and remember all they need to in order to excel in that upcoming test or exam.

And the golden rule for learning… MAKE IT FUN!

If you’re bored, your child is even more so – when it’s fun, it sticks!

Your child's learning style - The key to their success (1)

When your child knows what their learning style is and how to use this to their advantage, they can be empowered to be themselves and succeed.

This series is an introduction to what a learning style is and how to use it to your advantage. 

Each child is unique, with their own set of characteristics, strengths and weaknesses. Helping a child to identify his or her strengths and weaknesses is important so that they know what they can work with and build on and what they should avoid.

A learning style is one of these strengths. It is the way the each individual child takes in and processes information best. If information is taken in and processed effectively, it is more easily retrieved (remembered).

There are many different theories about what the different learning styles are and how many there are, however, we will use a model of 3 learning styles: the Visual Learner, the Auditory Learner and the Tactile/Kinesthetic Learner.

Children learn in all of these ways, but tend to be more inclined towards one or two of these particular learning styles. This means that while children experience information in all of these ways, they tend to take in and process information better if it is given to them in the style that their brain tends to prefer.

Here is a very simple example:

In a classroom setting, the teacher talks about the concept of fractions. She shows them an example of this by cutting an apple into various fractions. Then, she draws pictures with accompanying numbers to show how the numbers and reality work together. She hands out a worksheet to be cut and pasted in their books. Finally, she asks the learners to complete their worksheet and allows them work with their partners if they would like to.

The information about fractions has been given in a very visual and auditory way – children see the apple being cut up, they see the pictures and numbers written on the board, they’ve heard her speaking about the information.

The task they’ve been given is largely visual as well, but it contains elements of tactile and auditory learning: The children must cut their worksheet out and paste it in their books, they also have to write answers and draw or colour in pictures on the worksheet. These are tactile things, even though the children is not necessarily moving around too much. They have also been given the option to talk with their friends about the information. This is an auditory process.

All of the children have encountered the same lesson, but if you ask them what they remember the most, you will get different answers because some parts of the lesson resonate more deeply with each individual child than other parts do. This is rooted in the child’s learning style.

In the next few posts we’ll discuss each learning style in more detail with some more tips on how to use it to your advantage, taking in and processing information more effectively so that it can be retrieved in the future.

Opening Special

Hi everyone!

August is opening special month!

Register with us before the 31st August 2015, and we'll give you 10% off any package you choose!

Contact Lisa at motiv8tuition@gmail.com for all more details!

Looking forward to hearing from you soon.

~